Your health

Today's woman and stress

According to researchers the 21st Century and how we are living is proving to be the most stressful yet! For me, that comes as no surprise. There is so much pressure on men and women these days to perform better, earn more, spend more, work harder, play harder and to find time somewhere along the line to have good quality home time somewhere amongst all this. I often wonder how we can say we have moved on in leaps and bounds since our grand parents generation (say around the 1930's and 40's). I can understand how we have progressed medically and in technology and in many other ways but I sometimes wonder about our progression on a more personal level. We are seeing more and more stress related illnesses, suicides are increasing and divorce and separations are also on the increase. In today's 'modern' society there is so much pressure on men to work hard and provide for their family but also be a 'modern' man and be a hands-on dad, who is there to spend as much time as possible with his family!

Well, absolutely nothing wrong with that except the whole structure of our families and work ethic has changed radically. If you look back about 40 to 50 years. Most mothers stayed at home raising the family whilst dad went off to work. OK....yes as women we are entitled to choice and in that way progression has been made, or has it? Many women would love to stay home and raise their children (me being one of them) but, many of us have no choice but to go to work and place our children in childcare from a young age. So, do we have more choice or have things just shifted? I often hear women sounding almost apologetic when they tell people "they just stay at home". Well, why should they have to apologise for that? Surely that is something to be proud of? I for one take my hat off to these women.

Unfortunately, I had to work - and it certainly does not mean I love my children any less. It seems that women today have in many ways as little choice as women then did. Yes, we can choose to go to work and continue our careers but then we are greeted with comments like "Oh! You work long hours, who has your children?" or "Wonder why she had kids when she's never around to see them?" There is no reason why a woman can't continue her career and successfully raise a family except there are a few things working against this.

Many men (and if any men are reading this I am not having a go!) work fulltime (like their wives or partners) and then come home at the end of the evening to have dinner and watch telly. But, then who cooks dinner, sorts the kids out for bed, gets the kid's stuff ready for school (uniform, pack lunches etc) - oh and then there is the housework - the washing, the ironing, the shopping, the beds need changed and the list goes on!? Now, unless you are a very lucky working woman, all this usually falls on our shoulders. And then your other have moans when the last thing you feel like is a night of passion. Hello boys - think about it!!!! I think that my husband still believes in fairies! After all it must be the washing fairy who picks all his clothes up from the bedroom floor and brings them back clean and folded in the cupboard!!

There was an article recently where they were saying that most women have a higher stress level by the time they leave the house in the morning than the majority of men. This is attributed to the fact that (and I am sure most of you ladies can appreciate this one!) most men get up, wash, dress, sit and have breakfast and leave for work! How nice would that be? By the time most of us mums have left for work we are in a foul mood and stressed to the hilt! We have got up (many of us earlier than our men folk) washed and dressed, got the kids up, got all the breakfast ready, sorted out the lunches, yelled at the kids for not getting the stuff together that you told them about last night, got the kids dressed and rush out the door.

I have lost count of the amount of cups of tea I haven't even got a sip out of in the morning - let alone had any breakfast. Who does it normally fall to when the kids are sick? There are not many men who will phone their bosses and tell them they can't make that important meeting because 'Little Johnnie' has thrown up all night or that the babysitter has let him down etc, etc!

I am not having a go at men - probably society really! So much is expected of women today and life can be hard and very difficult at times for all mothers and wives but what about those wives who have to deal with all this and deal with a husband serving in the Armed Forces? Not only do these women have to deal with the day-to-day running of family life but in many cases they spend a lot of time doing it alone, and a lot times in a foreign country with no family around to support them.

To add to this they are also dealing with the worry of their partner or husband who is away on active service, and going to bed alone with no one to share the worries or fears with. It could be money, it could be a sick child, it could be an unruly teenager but all these things become twice as hard when you are alone with no one to share the burden. These are where associations like SSAFA and Home-Start can really help in some cases.

My question is... who had it right? When society supported the women of yester-year who looked after their families and were proud to do it or today's women, where so much is expected of us and then some? I agree we should have choice as to whether we pursue our careers or not! But in many cases do we actually have a choice? And if we are EXPECTED or we DECIDE to continue our careers then shouldn't our partners provide an equal share or responsibility for our family and home?

Assess your stress! | Homeopathic stress remedies

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